Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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