i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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