NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
