Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
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I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
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Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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