why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
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Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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