He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
