Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Pants are for mortals
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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