I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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