i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
