But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize