Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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