Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
