she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
