I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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