well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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