Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
