I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
