How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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