so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
