WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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