In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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