no, he came in my armpit
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dick very happy bro
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
