I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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