I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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