We're facebook friends in real life
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
