Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.