I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
