o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize