I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
