Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
