i just wanna soil my oats bro
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
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I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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