That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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