She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
