butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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