Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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