I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize