I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
