once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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