he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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