I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize