Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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