i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
