so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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