I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
