i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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