garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
