Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
