Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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