Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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