Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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