Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
its liver damage thursday
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
