with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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