he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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