how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
