her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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