It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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